Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dan the Man, His Cell Phone and THE Haircut!

Hold your horses and shut all the barn doors!

My Man Dan finally decided to join the 21st century and get a cell phone.  I don't really know why he waited for so long...  I think secretly he felt like a rebel without a cause telling people that he did not have a cell phone when they asked for his cell number.

This is not his first cell phone mind you, and he will be sure to tell you that 18 some years ago, he was so techie, that he had a BAG PHONE.  Who remembers those?  They certainly have come a long way in cell phones, haven't they?!

Anyway... so here is a funny story involving Dan the Man and his cell phone.

Let me set the scene for the preface.  You have to know the whole story.  Dan the Man and I have been married for a little over 16 years.  In those 16 years, I have ALWAYS been the barber for my man Dan.  It all started when we married and all of the sudden had 4 boys who needed haircuts and 1 husband.  Being the resourceful (or cheap) person that I am, I started cutting everyone's hair.  How hard could it be?  I had watched my sister do haircuts ever since I was probably 15 or so.

It was a something I gleefully started, but as the years wore on... the joy became less and less, especially when they wanted haircuts and I was tired from working a full day and the last thing I wanted to do was stand on my feet and mess with their sweaty heads and end up sweeping the kitchen floor and not even getting paid for it or receiving a measly tip.  I began the cherish the day each son moved out of the home... it meant one less haircut that I had to give!

Finally all the boys have moved on and are going to someone else for their haircuts!  Well, that is all but one boy.  My man Dan still remains.  He doesn't demand that I give him a haircut, he just waits until I can stand it no longer and I finally give in because he won't make an appointment somewhere else.  Egads, his own sister-in-law has probably 30+ years experience, yet will he go there?  I blame my mother-in-law for this reluctant behavior.  She use to cut his hair when he was a boy.  Danny claims his father use to cut it as well.  Then when he was in college, his cousin cut it.  I am not sure what he did before we were married, I know he had to have gone some where.

We have had several discussions about this.  They usually go something like this:
ME:  You really need a hair cut.
Dan:  I know.  When can you do it?
ME:  Not tonight, I am too tired.
Dan:  Okay, I'll wait until you have time.
ME:  Can't you please just go some where and get it cut.
Dan:  No, I don't like to.
ME (a week later):  You REALLY need a hair cut.
Repeat lines above...
ME:  If you do not get your haircut, I am not coming home.
Dan:  Fine, then I will just shave it my self.
ME:  Okay, fine!  Just cut it off.

I leave and when I come back, he has not shaven his head.  He has threaten this several times, too many times to remember, but has never once done it.  The closest he got to it was the time that he had Chris cut his hair because I wouldn't.

So the story continues with me driving home from Kearney.  I start to get bored driving all by myself so I give my man Dan a call on his cell phone to see what he is up to.

ME:  Hey.
Dan: Hey.
ME:  What are you doing?
Dan:  Not much, I am shaving my hair.
ME:  Yeah right.  What are you doing, really?
Dan:  Shaving my hair.
ME:  Oh yeah?  How are you doing that?
Dan:  With the clippers.
ME:  Oh.  And how is it going?
Dan:  Fine.
ME:  Oh.  And how do you plan on doing the back?
Dan:  I'll use my cell phone to take a picture of the back to make sure I've got it straight.  I've got to go so I can finish.  I'll call you back.
ME:  Hmmm, well, good luck with that.

I still wasn't convinced that he was actually cutting his hair.  If he was, I was a little irritated because I knew I was going to have to fix it when I got home and I really wasn't wanting to have to do that.  I was tired and getting the cold that Chris had shared over the weekend.  I just wanted to get home and relax, not fix a haircut gone bad.

As I drove on, I decided that I WOULD NOT fix the hair cut.  I WOULD NOT cave in.  I would force Dan the Man to go get his hair cut.

Then I received this picture.

I nearly swerved off the road in utter disbelief.  Oh MY GOSH, he ACTUALLY DID IT!  He ACTUALLY CUT HIS OWN HAIR.  I had to puller over so I could look at the picture and enlarge it on my screen.  Oh my goodness, WOW, he really cut a lot off the back.  I wonder if he kept getting it crocked, so he had to keep shaving his neck up higher and higher?  I can't tell from the picture if it is straight in the back or not so I pull back on the highway with mixed emotions, stunned beyond belief.   I simply can not believe that he actually went through with what, until now, for the last 16+ years, has been empty threats!

I was speechless.  And I couldn't decide if I was mad or relieved.  A little while later I got this picture with a text saying "Done taking shower now."

Ahh, My Man Dan.  Gotta love him!
Back off ladies, he is ALL Mine!

PS Honey, I am truly in awe of your barber skills, but next time could you please, Please, PLEASE just go to a barber.  Really.

1 comment:

  1. OMG! The back needs some serious help! I can't be seen with him when we go out to dinner this weekend... lol! People will think I did it!