Thursday, March 18, 2010

And Her Name is Patty!

Meet Little Miss Patty

I thought I would give you an update on the calf that was born on Tuesday. Her name is Patty. Yep, she is a little girl.

Right now I am sitting in the middle of a hayfield in the middle of nowhere with my laptop, writing to you while I wait for Dan the Man to load the trailer with hay. That‘s right, you guessed it, we are hauling hay again today. If you missed how exciting hay hauling can be you can read this post that I wrote a couple of months ago.

Movin' Hay

As we start to get busier and busier with farming/ranching because the weather is getting nicer, I know that my blogging time is going to get cut down so I need to make use of every available minute to keep up and to keep you informed on what‘s going on around here. Isn‘t today‘s technology great? Thank you oldest son, Nick, for giving me this laptop as a gift! Now I can write my posts here in the middle of a hayfield!

I’ve been thinking about calling Dan the Man “Mr. Boss Man” now since I am once again his hired hand for the season. Can’t decide which I like better, Dan the Man or Mr. Boss Man. I could call him Dan the Man the Boss Man, but that’s a little to windy, don’t you think? Catchy though, but takes too long to type!

Anyway I told you I was going to give you an update on the calf that was born on Tuesday. If you missed the story, you’ll need to go back one story and catch up.

First Calf of the Season, Let the Fun Begin

Well, this morning I had a meeting in town at 9:00 am. At 8:00 am Mr. Boss Man informs me that I needed to come pick him up at a haystack that is 6 or so miles away from our place before I go to town. He was going to be loading hay there while I was in town and needed a vehicle there so he wouldn’t be stranded. Long story… I won’t bore you with the details.

So I tell him, “Well we’d better get a move on then because my meeting is at 9:00 am.”

Dan the Man said, “I thought it was at 10:00 am.”

So then he had me doubting myself as to whether the meeting is at 9 or 10. I’m positive it’s at 9, but then again, maybe it’s at 10??? Either way, if it is at 9 I’m probably going to be late now that I have to chauffeur Mr. Boss Man around for a good 30 minutes.

I’m sure the meeting is at 9 by this time and I’m also sure that there is no way I’m going to make it there by 9. Ugh…. I hate not being in control and having my plans changed from one minutes to the next. Welcome to this life! So I text Monique and tell her it’s going to be closer to 9:30 before I can make it to her office and she texts back “No problem.“ She’s so easy to work with! Thanks Monique!

I do eventually make it to her office and it is 9:30 by the time I make it.

After our meeting I had some errands to run for Mr. Boss Man. I had to go-fer this and go-fer that! (See yesterday’s story if you’re scratching your noggin over this.) After I was done goin’ fer his stuff I thought I’d steal a little “me” time and run to Target, just to see what was new.

As I was looking at the kitchen stuff my cell phone went off. Guess who? Mr. Boss Man…

Let me just pause and tell you a little about Mr. Boss Man and cell phones.
  1. Mr. Boss Man does not have a cell phone and refuses to get one.
  2. Mr. Boss Man thinks that if you are talking on a cell phone or talking to someone who is on cell phone you have to YELL in order to be heard.
  3. Mr. Boss Man does not understand that sometimes there is a lag time when speaking on a cell phone.
  4. Mr. Boss Man is constantly YELLING “Can you hear me?” when you are trying to answer his questions!
  5. Mr. Boss Man and cell phones do not go together very well.

Okay now that you know that we can move forward.


Me: yes


Me: at Target


Me: nothing, I was just on my way home.


Me: I saw the cow but not her calf.


Me: Okay, I’m on my way home now and when I get there I’ll take the four-wheeler out and see if I can’t find the calf.


Me: See ya.

So much for my “me-time!”

When I got home I saddled up the four-wheeler (man I really need a horse!) and headed out to find the calf. I found the cow and yep, just like the Boss Man said, that cow (the mother) is so stupid, she didn’t know where the calf was. I wonder how long it has been lost. I looked every where and drove probably 3 or 4 miles on that four-wheeler. Just as I was about to give up, I decided to go look one more place that I hadn’t covered yet. And sure enough, praise God, there was the little booger in a little depression where I wasn’t able to see her before.

I got off the four-wheeler and scooped her up and put her on the back of the four-wheeler. She was like a huge bowl of jello that weighed about 65 lbs. Wasn’t all that easy, but I got her on there. My plan was then to go find the cow and let her see that I had found her calf and lead her up to the corral and then put them both in the coral. That was my plan until I started wondering what the cow would do when she saw that I had the calf.

Being raised a “city girl,” I always let my imagination run away when I start thinking about these kinds of situations. The more I thought about it, the more I thought that she would probably see the calf and come running at me full speed, with her head down and snorting like a bull and I would have to drive that four-wheeler like the devil so she didn’t trample me into the ground. And how was I going to do that while trying to hold on to the calf at the same time? It appeared that I had a small problem.

I cautiously approached the dumb cow (but stayed a safe distance away) and told her I had her baby on board and if she ever wanted to see her again she had better get herself on up to the corral and that I would meet her there with the calf. Then I took off and the cow just watched me go. What a numbskull! So I went on and headed for the corral. Just as I was getting close to the corral, Mr. Boss Man came home. He saw me with the calf and came over in the truck.

BM: Where’s the cow?

Me: She’s still down there, she won’t come up.

BM: That stupid cow. Let’s put the calf in the back of the truck and go back down there and see if we can get her to follow the truck up.

Me: Yeah, let’s do that because I didn’t try too hard to get her to follow me when I was on the four-wheeler. I didn’t want her to attack me while I was trying to out run her on the four-wheeler.

BM: You get in the back with the calf and hold on to her.

Me: Okay.

So we take off down to where the cow is.

BM: See if you can get the calf to cry so the cow knows that the calf is in the back with you.

Me: Okay.

Baby Calf: bawwwwl, bawwwl

Now the cow realizes that I have the calf and wants to know what in tarnation I am doing to it to cause it to cry like that!


Here goes my imagination again, wondering if that cow will jump in the back of the pickup to get me!!! Meanwhile we are barreling through the field across corrugations and the calf is sliding all around and I am too. What a wild ride! Hold on little guy!

I turned to see how close we were to the corral when all of the sudden the little calf made a break for it and slid right out of the truck. Settle down, settle down, we really weren’t going that fast, it just seemed like it because of the corrugations. She landed fine and was up and with her mom in a matter of seconds. The little fall didn’t even phase her. The Boss Man jumped out of the truck and said, “You’ve got to hold on to ‘em!” as the cow and calf ran away.

Oh good gravy! Really? Are you serious? I can’t believe stuff like this happens!

BM: We’d better just leave them alone for now and try again later.

So, that’s when we went to go haul some hay.

I have to tell you about the hay hauling. Sorry if this seems to be dragging on, but some things are worth sharing. Today, there was a lot of funny stories to be told. Besides, I’m not holding a gun to your head. You can quit reading anytime you would like to.

I was driving the truck back to our home place with a load of hay. Mr. Boss Man told me to just stay on the dirt roads and not to take the highway. He told me the one road (County Road 4) was a little rough, but not too bad. So there I was truckin’ right along when I came over a hill and holey moley but what do I see but two gigantic depressions in the road right in front of me. Actually they were like small ditches, forget depressions! There are also several ditch company guys working on a pipeline or something. I tried to hit the brakes but was afraid to stomp on them too hard. But I knew I had to slow down the truck and trailer or else I was going to have a huge wreck on my hands.

Have you ever pushed so hard on the brake pedal that it kind-of lifted your butt off the seat of the vehicle? Well, that’s what I did. When I hit that first “ditch” in the road, I’m sure my eyes were the size of dinner plates! It was a true butt launcher! Good gravy, good thing that the load was strapped or I am sure it would have been all over the road.

Why do men always have to be standing around to witness such womanly driving skills? I tried to act all cool, calm and collected when I passed by them. I just kind-of gave them the manly “head-nod” as I passed by! I’m sure they were cracking up after I passed by! So sorry ladies, I just added one more cause for men to refer to those “woman drivers”!

When Mr. Boss Man showed up at the home place in the tractor, he asked if I had any problems at that place in the road. I told him what happened and that the men were probably still laughing about it and he said, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I should have told you about that part of the road, but I forgot.”

After he got the hay unloaded and stacked Mr. Boss Man was ready to “try ‘er again“ and get that cow and calf back up to the corral. This time I told him he could ride in the back of the truck and I would drive!

Once again we found the calf, luckily it was away from the cow. Mr. Boss Man scooped her up and put her in the back of the truck and got in with her. We found the cow and showed her the calf and started the whole process again with leading her up to the corral. This time she was really concerned and I was praying that Mr. Boss Man would be okay back there. I had a hard time watching where I was driving and keeping an eye on the cow in the rear view mirror. I truly was wondering if she could jump into the back of the truck! Mr. Boss Man kept yelling at me to slow down. I was afraid to go too slow, I was sure that cow was going to eat Mr. Boss Man for dinner. I didn’t want her to get my beloved Mr. Boss Man or else I’d be stuck with this whole mess all by myself!

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally got them up to the corral… finally! Isn’t this fun?

I am glad to report that Mom and baby Patty are doing just fine.

No comments:

Post a Comment